Being Mindful in March

This month I am hosting a series of drop in sessions for my colleagues as part of a focused month of mindfulness meditation at work. 

Each day I witness firsthand the exorbitant amount of stress that my colleagues are under. On a regular basis, I'll feel the same sensation of being overwhelmed as the tasks and obligations of the day pile up - that feeling is only human. Its no wonder that in the 21st century, we are collectively stressed as a society. We are technologically dependent on devices that connect us to a constant stream of distraction 24/7 between work emails that follow us home, daily news coverage that bombards us with the adversities of the world, and social media feeds magnifying a petrie dish of social comparison. Amidst all of this distraction, the way the human brain functions is to default to a hyper focus on events of the past or anticipation/worry about the future. Straddling between the past and the present, our minds are rarely present. Many of us don't even realize we're breathing until we're asked to.

Learn more about how mindfulness re-connects brain and body in this audio clip:  The Power of the Present

So in 2017, a recent report from the American Psychological Association shows that Americans are officially more stressed. We need to do something about this, and mindfulness meditation is one of the most scientifically proven exercises to get us there. We know the value of physical exercise - now how do we make mental exercise more mainstream? I've heard the naysayers talk about mindfulness meditation not having immediate effects or being too difficult of a tactic to make a lasting impact on stress levels, compared to something obvious like a vacation. But most of us can't wait until we take a vacation to combat rising levels of stress and take a proactive stance every day. Listen to my 3 Tips to Begin Your Own Practice for some easy steps to start and try out mindfulness today. 

More Mindfulness in March tips to come this month! 

A Movement for Humanity

Approximately nine months ago I found it. I found the answer to the questions that had ignited Her Savory Life years ago. I describe it as a movement for humanity. It turns out that in looking to find my own purpose, I found an industry that is actually about that same process of helping people find happiness. How ironic. It's called Positive Psychology, and focuses on helping humans become engaged, empowered and in control of their lives. 

Dr. Martin Seligman is the founder of this new science, an evolved psychology - the science of human flourishing - which argues that rather than look at traditional methods of diagnosing illness and what is 'wrong' with people -- there is on the flip side, infinite wisdom and positive change that comes from proactively harnessing what is 'right' with people. It begins from a willingness and desire to self-reflect and commit to bettering ones self, and continues with deliberate, actionable steps to raise levels of a persons day-to-day and long-term wellbeing. 

As I was studying this field, I read this quote, which took hold of me and wouldn't let go. "Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s unbecoming everything that isn’t you so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.” - Author unknown.

Before starting the HSL journey, I was blindly chasing a societal norm that had dictated most of my decisions as a child, adolesent and young adult. A lot of this in my opinion, begins with having to declare who we want to be and what we want to do when we are 20 years old. For me, the everyday decision of how we want to show up in this world and what to do with that precious 24-hour period should begin at age 20. These decisions should be influenced by our values, which can really only be shaped by adversities we've faced, places we've travelled to, different people we've met, diverse cultures we've experienced, and failures we've bounced back from. Many of us don't truly get exposure to this until well after those teen years.

At 30, I can say that the authentic person I am, not molded to a job, career path or societal expectation, is ever-evolving, but anchored from one constant - love. That anchor of love has brought me to positive psychology, which I can now say is my calling and I am forever its ambassador.

And the more exciting and externally-facing part is sharing this knowledge with others. After becoming a certified practitioner of applied positive psychology, I've spent the past several months using that foundational knowledge and combining it with my own experiences to teach people how to create their own formula for happiness. Its important to say that these teachings aren't only for people who feel they need to "unbecome" any restraints or forced identities, that is just my story of how I came into this work. This material is for everyone - for people who just want to better deal with negativity in their lives; individuals who want to manage stress, or build better relationships, or get more engaged at work; or cleanse and declutter their living spaces. This is for anyone interested in bettering themselves. Its a movement for humanity.

There is so much more I want to say about PosPsy, but I will reserve for now. I am happy to say I am actively teaching flourishing workshops of all kinds to individuals and teams. Read more about that here. 

And check out my student spotlight featured by my teacher, friend and Founder of The Flourishing Center, Louis Alloro.

Can We Change the World?

I posted this stream of consciousness this week on my Instagram page after months in a row of disturbing news from around the world. As I study Positive Psychology -- the science of human flourishing -- I've made many connections between the world's hate-driven events and the brain. It is the brain, which controls the thoughts, that leads to hateful acts. An excerpt from my thoughts:

"At the heart of all of this hateful conflict and violence lies one true issue: a human's closed mindset (fueled by linear thinking and a belief that there is only one way to do things, one way to be and one way to practice living). Ironic how primitive this type of thinking is as our civilization has become more intelligent about diversity of thought over the past several centuries. We know so much more about the human brain and that knowledge has literally become power. So to battle the hate, I really think it comes down to teaching young minds to be open, accepting, peaceful, respectful, positive, grateful, gracious, compassionate and kind, to be a responsible contributor to society. This doesn't mean a person won't disagree with others or hold strong opinions as they become an adult, but the actions to address those beliefs should never be malicious toward others' appearance, race, religion, political affiliation, sexual orientation, the list goes on. I believe there is more weight now than ever on teachers and parents to help kids during their formative years learn to use knowledge of brain anatomy and function to make conscious, mindful choices and be open to new, different things, people, processes so that when they grow up to be adults, they find it in their hearts - and most importantly - minds - to acknowledge that all people have diverse beliefs and ways of life. And to harm others or discriminate because of differences is not right and certainly not what makes civilization so advanced. And it's not what makes us lucky to be alive. You can't just tell someone to 'love, not hate' and expect things to change. There has to be conscious, regular practice to change mindsets and behaviors. And that should start at childhood."

This is certainly not the end of the story, nor does it capture all of the complexities related to years of discrimination and the significant progress made for civil rights, the endless stream of world wars and centuries of religious strife. But I am exploring concepts to expand the content that fuels Her Savory Life into a scientific and emotional platform for human flourishing. As we all have the right to live our best -- and safest lives.

A Recipe For Self-Care

I recently graduated from the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction Foundation Program at Jefferson’s Myrna-Brind Center for Integrative Medicine – another step in my journey to help others just...live.

Mindfulness is not about getting an insta-fix when you're moody. Created by Jon Kabat-Zinn, living mindfully is about being present and aware of what we are feeling, in the richness of right now -- not walking around mind"less"ly thinking about memories of the past or overwhelmed by the "what if" of the future. We can create a conscious life rather than enacting our entire lives on autopilot, and as a result can train ourselves to make choices about how to act, emote, talk, form relationships – all from a space of complete control, guided by a reframed mindset on how to approach situations with kindness and non-reactivity. 

At first, this might sound elementary and basic. It is - and that is exactly what is so fascinating. Mindfulness requires openness to exploring a process using full mind/body connection that brings us back to the types of qualities we exercised as children:

• Non-judgment of our thoughts, ideas, failures – rather than what tends to evolve in our adulthood as a callused shell or catastrophic filter about our place in the world and things that happen to us.

• Patience in allowing things to unfold at their own speed – rather than always hurrying to get somewhere or do something.

• Non-striving, referring to the way we can allow ourselves to be at the current place in our journey – rather than spending our entire lives striving to be better, make more money, move to the next job title.

• Beginner’s Mind and a genuine curiosity/sense of wonder – rather than ‘taking things for granted’ or letting what we ‘know’ prevent us from seeing things as they really are.

• Acceptance to see things as they actually are in the present and being open to that – rather than imposing our own ideas about what we should be thinking or feeling.

The irony in all of this is that while the concepts seem so simple, the act of resetting your mind to think this way is the antithesis of human nature and what we’ve been taught to embrace socially. In this way, the most challenging part to grapple with is what enters our thoughts almost instantaneously when we try to just 'be' – we make quick judgments, assumptions or fabricated stories in our mind about the meaning behind what we’re feeling.

Our thoughts can become negatively powerful if we let them. We're extra hard on ourselves, dwelling on the "why is this happening to me," "I can't," "when will I get better?" But mindfulness teaches us to “gently escort” those stories aside and create a bubble of acceptance for what we notice in each moment. This is the mind’s recipe for self-care.

Intrigued? Stay tuned for more on mindfulness…

A mindful circle of trust and meditation pillows

A Universal Feeling on Valentine's Weekend

Last night I had a dream about my grandfather. Out of all my lovely grandparents, he is the last one standing. Ironically I just found out that he fell last night and is in the hospital – he is going to be ok but will need a lot of TLC to get him back on track.

It is so interesting how the universe sends us signals in the oddest ways and at the most appropriate times. So in this particular dream there was love, warmth, care and I was drawn to be with my family. I woke up today to this news on the same day that my grandmother, his wife, passed away three years ago. Somehow I feel in this case, this is all interconnected.

Its Valentine’s weekend. As commercial as it has become, this series of days represents an extra boost where the romantic in me oozes lots of extra love. And this time it feels powerful in a different way. Maybe its because the circumstance my grandfather is in right now makes my mind focus on the life he’s lived and the things I love about him. Maybe it’s a shot of gratitude for his influence on my childhood. For whatever the reason that this is all happening this weekend, I am aware of my feelings, my surroundings, mindful of this moment and him.

On my wedding day he told me I looked like an angel. And then we cut a rug together. These were the best memories on the best day. More to come soon on that best day ever...