I Want to Teach the World to Be Happy

Last week I led a Happiness Workshop for Levo League’s Philadelphia chapter.

The workshop was a combination of lessons from my own self-discovery/career experimentation intertwined with teachings of Greek philosopher Epicurus, whose theories on happiness still very much apply to the 21st century. My goal for this workshop was to reframe the issue of happiness – to teach people that happiness doesn't mean walking around with a smile on your face everyday, as if living in a euphoric state. That’s not real life. But knowing, accepting and loving yourself in all moments, that’s real. Epicurus’ studies on what humans “think” we need to be happy, are still misconceptions today – yet are exactly what the mainstream fights for – money, luxury and love. And while admittedly, we all want those things in some capacity – the real solution to happiness lies within ourselves.

I was joined by a group of young female professionals, all ambitious and living busy, full lives. I led them through a series of organized steps, steeped in reflection, to absorb new techniques and learned behaviors. We sat in a circle and emotionally unbuttoned ourselves – which for some, might have been uncomfortable and risky. Despite that fact, each of these women openly participated in the name of bettering themselves. In those moments after a busy workday, we became each other’s supporters and motivators – women helping women find and embrace their authenticity.

A couple of the participants shared their experiences below.

I've come to place in my life and career where everything is very fast-paced. With all the goals I've set, I find myself constantly having to remember that what I'm doing is what will make me happy in the long run. It's easy to get caught up in that lie. Sam's workshop was a great respite from the time that I spend chasing my dream, and my son, to remember that happiness truly is an inside job and, luckily, a renewable resource that doesn't come from achievements or what I deem to be important milestones, but acceptance of myself in the moment and choosing to rest in the now and enjoy. It was great! – Olivia D.

There were several powerful moments in the workshop that gave us permission to be our authentic selves, which was beautiful to experience. I left feeling reflective, balanced, and positive!" – Arielle F.

The most rewarding part of it all was to hear the feedback from these ladies after the session. Going forward, I will be evolving the workshop content and will continue to tailor its structure to future audiences. Feel free to reach out if you are interested in discussing the workshop in more detail.

Leading a Reflection Exercise 

Leading a Reflection Exercise 

Meditation Session

Meditation Session

Still Meditating

Still Meditating

A Year in Words

Fellow Philly blogger, Jessica Lawlor is about to close the submission window for her second annual "Get Gutsy" contest. Over a bowl of dan dan noodles in December, she encouraged me to participate and share my story. As 2014 was such a pivotal year for me, I put pen to paper (read: fingers to keyboard) and the below story flowed out of me. In last week's post, I briefly touched on my 2014 reflections before jumping into a diatribe on gratitude. So think of this as me making up for some of the details I left out of that post. I hope you enjoy a look at HSL 2014 – the abridged version. :) 

Savoring Life, One Experiment at a Time

If 2013 was my year of the epiphany, than 2014 was my year of experimentation. And it was nothing short of transformational.

A mentor of mine once told me about Saturn’s return, which is the astrological belief that upon Saturn’s return to its original place in one’s birth chart, profound life changes will occur. Now whether my epiphany was due to this astrological coincidence or not, it happened – and I've never looked back.

After graduating from a prestigious corporate communications leadership program and experiencing sequential years of career success at a global Fortune 100 company, my professional trajectory was on a healthy incline. Everything I worked for was paying off. But as irony would have it, it was during this peak in my professional success when my entire life perspective changed.

Her Savory Life (HSL) was born out of a desire to open my aperture to a new way of thinking. It began as a force function so I had a reason to write about savoring moments in my life. Before then, those moments seemed to rush by without absorption or acknowledgement. But through the process of creating and writing HSL, I experienced much more than an appreciation of the little things. I went through an emotional awakening where I not only found my authentic self, but found purpose in writing for others. My true self had collided beautifully with my work life – and it was making a difference for other people.

HSL has since evolved into an inspiration platform for emotional wellness and refinement of the art of living. In parallel, I spent the latter part of the year charting a course of action-based experimentation to push myself even more while testing my theories and interests. I tried a stint in advertising. I began freelancing. My articles were featured on prominent blogs. I attended workshops and networking events. I began working with people outside of the box of a past life - all who are so passionate about what they do. All the while I became addicted to living meaningfully and conciously as I watched my personal and professional lives fuse into one. I can proudly define myself as a communicator, writer, thinker, lover, idealist and life enthusiast. 

In 2014, one of my proudest accomplishments was deciding my life would be a hybrid - filled with diverse experiences and non-linear thinking. Sounds simple, but before this year, my mind was closed to anything other than what I was doing at that moment. It still blows my mind to think that in an alternate scenario, I might have continued to look straight in that linear way, following a traditional career path without ever veering off of it. Until 2014, I’d assumed I should only do what the 15 years of academic training had prepared me to do. To boot, I always thought my professional life would remain completely separate from my personal life. So I’m proud of the courage, risk and enthusiasm it took to question and change all of that. And yet as I think about the closing of that linear chapter, I wouldn’t give back any of those experiences, because like stairs on a ladder, they were instrumental in leading me to this moment. Its a good feeling to wake up every morning in control of your path and your purpose.

This is your only life. So why not try something new. You might be pleasantly surprised.

Getting gutsy is all about stepping outside your comfort zone to reach your goals and live a life that makes you truly happy. This post is my entry for Jessica Lawlor’s Get Gutsy Essay Contest. To get involved and share your own gutsy story, check out this post for contest details and download a free copy of the inspiring Get Gutsy ebook.

Gratitude Revisited

Happy New Year, everyone!

During the month of December, I wrote a lot about the process of end-of-year reflecting. I talked about digging deep into the year’s experiences to evaluate our best and worst moments. I also wrote about using those reflections to plan for the next year. During the holidays, a common theme cycled through my mind. Gratitude. I felt a strong and sincere appreciation for all I had seen and done in 2014. There were big milestones and life realizations and chapters that opened and closed. There was a career awakening. There was independence. There was an engagement. And at the end of it all, I felt a sense of emotional growth and true peace with myself. That led to more thinking. I thought about the meaning of gratitude, why it suddenly was rushing through me at this time in my life and why I hadn't consciously given thanks on a regular basis. And all that turned into HSL on gratitude.

“Being grateful” can suggest that people should be content with what they have, which is in direct conflict with capitalism and our nature to want more. We don’t usually stop to think about right now – about the good enough – about what exists today – because we’re working toward something better for tomorrow. We want to lose weight, make more money, buy the dream house…the want is constant. Its human nature and increasingly amplified by society. What we see in the media creates an unnatural desire for perfection. Unrealistic scenes of model-esque millionaires living luxurious lifestyles seem to be today's norm. This "norm" contributes to our cyclical need to attain more. And most of the time that cycle continues and is never enough. This morphed view of beauty, power, self worth, etc. is not reality or normalcy. So when it comes to gratitude, we have to center ourselves back to a place of satisfaction with who and where we are now. I believe it is important for our mental and emotional wellness to remind ourselves of the positives in our present. Because you can't be grateful for something you don't have yet. Thinking this way will naturally induce gratitude for something in your current situation.

Another point. If someone tells you to “be grateful for what you have," you might force a smile and say “you are right, I’m lucky to have a roof over my head,” without really embodying the meaning of that statement. While in retrospect it seems selfish to gloss over gratitude, we've all been at a place where we're not quite where we want to be in life. So we humor the person without letting the sentiment sink in, and go on with our relentless pursuit of excellence. I’m not saying our future goals and aspirations are turning us into ungrateful wrecks. What I AM saying is that we should stick to our own realities. The next time someone talks to you about appreciation of the "little things," you might stop to actually consider the good things in your life. Not someone else's life. Gratitude can only come through an analysis of our own existence without comparison to lives of others. 

And by the way, it doesn't help to be forced to be grateful. Just because the overly commercialized holiday of Thanksgiving forces us to take pictures of our gluttonous plates of food and tag #thankful on Instagram, doesn't mean we really get it. I’ve realized that gratitude is most meaningful when it comes from within. One must be ready and willing to identify the current areas in life that deserve acknowledgement. Gratitude should be a natural thought process of humility balanced with success and ambition. It might not happen at the snap of your fingers, but over time and when you truly accept your authentic place in this world, it will happen. Perhaps this is why my senses were heightened to these feelings after a whirlwind year. I was ready.

What does all of this come back to? Mindfulness, of course. In addition to breathing and training our minds to be focused on the present for the benefits of stress reduction or happiness, we can also train our minds to practice gratitude in the present moment. This post is not me TELLING you to be grateful, because that's annoying and contradictory to my entire point. I'm SUGGESTING a way to practice gratitude by wrapping your mind around the present. Each day, when you wake up or right after you meditate, think of one thing you are grateful for in this life, instead of what you haven't done or don't have. If it seems superficial and forced, try again the next day, or the next week - until you can develop a rhythm of mindful gratitude.

So to come full circle, today I’m grateful for the smaller moments that came and went in between family, friends and self growth in 2014. A few snapshots...

My solitude..blank sheets of paper and a cup of coffee

My solitude..blank sheets of paper and a cup of coffee

A strikingly beautiful sentiment

A strikingly beautiful sentiment

Heart warming hospitality 

Heart warming hospitality 

Greenery in the city

Greenery in the city

A symbol of autumn in the northeast

A symbol of autumn in the northeast

A crackling fire at my childhood home

A crackling fire at my childhood home

The power of this moment during the last week of 2014

The power of this moment during the last week of 2014

How to Find a Career You Love...

More self-reflection material for you to absorb this holiday season! This week, I'm excited to announce my new article for Brazen Careerist's lifestyle and career blog, Brazen Life. The blog offers fun and edgy ideas for ambitious professionals navigating the changing world of work. In the article, I discuss the idea of job experimentation -- a concept from author and theorist, Roman Krznaric. He says that in order to find your calling you must first try your hand at several different career paths. Life changing!